So, I had a wonderful, but lonely weekend. My husband, Bobby, went duck hunting in Oklahoma so I got to get a bunch of stuff done around the house. Ate lunch with a friend yesterday that was so refreshing. I got to really challenge myself in the way I'm behaving. I've been saying that I'm tired of the 'rut' and that I don't want to become stale. But how?? Part of that is fellowship. Keeping in contact with other believers and be open about life. Also, what I fill my life with. It is so easy to start being of the world since I live in the world. I know that I get sucked into doing all the things that the world is saying to do, wear, how to act, ect.... Well, if I'm not realizing what is going on, then I'm doing exactly what I don't want to do. Becoming stale.
For the past few months I've let things slip. My language, the shows and movies I watch, the behavior I have toward others and other things as well. My friend (the one I had lunch with) was sharing with me things she's had to face and that she has a choice everyday to have the right attitude. I think when someone outside my immediate life shares things I'm more receptive. My husband TELLING me to get a better attitude doesn't help my attitutde at all. But thats beside the point. So, I've decided that I'm going to make an effort everyday to remember that I have a choice to be happy, energetic, caring, loving, forgiving, slow to anger,... and the list could go on.
Another thing that I'm going to focus on in my life, while I'm examining it and all, is that I'm going to set my sights on God's standards and not my own. I think that so many times I've compared myself to someone else and justified my actions through someone else's instead of through what I'm called to by God. Doing this I will be doing what God wants me to, not falling short of His standards because I wasn't looking at His plan.
A big struggle in my life recently, among others, is my actions. I tend to react off of my opinion or feelings instead of love. Love is such an amazing thing. Love sent us a savior to die us. Love is patient and kind, it is not envious and doesn't boast and is not proud. Love respects others and is not selfish, it is not easily angered and keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perserveres. Love never fails. (1 COR 13:4-8) So, when I think about responding in love I've got a lot to consider. Love is not an opinion, but a truth. God is Love! In responding in love, I need to react the way God would react. Not scoff or mock someone, not to think less of them or even lower my standard for them, but to simply love unconditionally.
All these things are not new to me, but they are definatly something that I've thought about lately and am going to strive to achieve. With Gods help all things are possible. Even changing this lil sinner!
Just FYI Mandie, it was GREAT to read this today. I've been struggling with some of the same things you listed here. It's good to know other believers struggle as well, and how they are dealing with it. Thanks for being honest and open, friend! :)
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